Forever Families of Baxter County

Forever Families new website

2011-05-20T06:45:00.000-07:00

http://aradoptionsupport.com/ is our new website. We will not be posting any longer on this site.

Rencher family fund

2010-12-28T21:18:00.000-08:00

Donations may be made at any ARvest bank to the 'Rencher family fund' to help support this wonderful dad and 3 very young children after the loss of their 31 yr old momma last week. I also have a meal and diaper/wipes program set up for the next 6 months. If anyone is interested please email me at goofballgeorgie@hotmail.com. All donations and gifts are tax deductible through Forever Families. Please pass the word.

Robbery in our groups' home-update

2010-12-24T16:45:00.000-08:00

Forever Families headquarters was broken into this week. It is sad that a person/s broke into an outreach for people who are in need.
The police are involved and fingerprints were taken. You will be caught. It would be better to just return what you stole.

We are thankful that most of the items were returned.

Sadness

2010-12-24T16:38:00.000-08:00

We were saddened to hear of the passing of one of our members this past week. Please pray for the family who has suffered the loss of wife, mother and daughter. Amanda Reeves is handling some of our outreach. If you would like to help, maybe a meal, please contact Amanda.

Christmas

2010-12-24T16:35:00.001-08:00

We are thankful to the businesses that were so generous this year. Our families are enjoying a nice Christmas due to the generousity of the communtiy.

Christmas Gifts needed

2010-12-07T09:06:00.000-08:00

We are asking for either monetary donations that we will use to purchase movie passes or actual movie passes to either movie theater in Mt. Home. We have 67 children that we are hoping to get these for. Any amount is appreciated.

Our gift coordinator is Amanda Reeves and her number is 870 404 8803. Thank you very much

Support Group Meeting on Tuesday

2010-11-14T18:35:00.000-08:00

We will be having our support group meeting on Tuesday night at 6 pm. See you then!

Christmas Program

2010-11-05T14:04:00.000-07:00

Any Forever Families members who would like to participate in this year's Christmas program needs to respond to me with the following info NO LATER than next Monday, Nov 8.

1-your child's first name (won't be disclosed just for my record keeping) and age
2- 3 specific gift requests per child, one around $30 and two around $10
3-the name and phone number of a contact person from a business, church, etc you think might be willing to sponsor some of our children

I would also like feedback on whether you prefer the gifts to be wrapped or unwrapped. We are also going to try to put together a Christmas party for the FF families. I am excited about another year of doing the Christmas program and look forward to all the many blessings we receive. Again, please respond asap as we cannot accept any signups after the 8th. Please email me at goofballgeorgie@hotmail.com with your info. In His service, Amanda Reeves

McDonald's Fund Raiser

2010-10-28T11:28:00.000-07:00

Do you know anyone whose children are always begging them to go to McDonald's? Well, encourage them to give in, on Wednesday Nov 3rd from 4 PM to 6 PM!

McDonald's is joining with Forever Families for a fund raiser! McDonalds will donate a percentage of every sale to Forever Families! Please volunteer if you have time ... and tell your friends and co-workers to come and support Forever Families by eating at McDonalds on November 3rd.

Thanks Call me if you have any questions, Renee 481-6299 or email.

haircuts on October 21 at 1:30 pm

2010-10-20T14:16:00.001-07:00

Our hairdresser will be cutting hair at Forever Families on Thursday, October 22, starting at 1:30. Feel free to come by and get a trim : )

thank you

2010-10-03T18:35:00.000-07:00

I wanted to personally give a big thank you to Peggy for spearheading the garage sale that was held this past weekend. Sandy and Peggy are our main resource room workers. Thanks for all that you women do for our group.

resource room

2010-09-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

The resource room will be open from 1 until 6 on Thursdays from now on. Please come to the resource room on Thursday if you would like to get things before they are sold at the garage sale this Saturday.

Hastings Gift Wrapping Fundraiser

2010-09-27T09:42:00.000-07:00

We are proud to say this is our third year running this fundraiser. We are once again in need of volunteers for the fund raiser that helps keep Forever Families of Baxter County going. We would like to thank you ahead of time for any help you may be able to render.

We will be setting up a table in the foyer of Hastings in Mountain Home. We will supply all the wrapping paper, tape, bows, and anything else that might be needed. People can bring in any gift they want wrapped and we will wrap it free of charge. They may bring gifts in from other stores, too. We do have a donation jar set out.

We really need all hands on deck for this event. We are asking that each family choose two times that are best for them. We need at least two workers for each slot with an exception being Christmas Eve, where we will need four. Friends and family are welcome to volunteer too. An adult with two teens would be welcome. If you contact me, I will place it on the schedule so that others will know what times are taken. Renee Brownlee 481-6299 or email me at foreverfamiliesofbaxtercounty@yahoo.com.

Hastings Gift Wrapping Fundraiser

Nov. 26 (Black Friday) 10 – 5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Nov. 27 Sat. 10 – 5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 4 Sat. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 11 Sat. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 18 Sat. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 20 Mon. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 21 Tues. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 22 Wed. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 23 Thur. 10-5 Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30

Dec. 24 Fri. 10-8 pm (this was a very busy time and 4 good workers needed)

Shifts 9:30- 1:30, 1:30- 5:30, 5:30- 8:30

Garage Sale fundraiser

2010-09-26T18:28:00.000-07:00

Forever families is having a garage sale this Saturday.

We need help

FRIDAY at 10 am to help set it up

SATURDAY at 8am to help with the garage sale

SATURDAY at 3pm help cleaning up

We are hoping every family can send 2or 3 volunteers for acouple of hours. If you have any questions, please contact Peggy at 405 -2293

Meeting tonight, Sept. 21 at 6 pm

2010-09-21T09:04:00.000-07:00

Food and commodity distribution will be tonight at 6 o'clock. Please remember to sign your commodity card. He can only make up commodity packages for those who have a card : ) Thanks so much.

Fetal Alcohol Syndrome Expert coming to our area on Sept. 16

2010-09-08T14:02:00.000-07:00

Carol Wangle, a very knowledgeable speaker on FAS, will be coming to our area. She will be doing a presentation on FAS and its effects, etc, on September 16, 2010, at the Fireside Grill located at 1508 Hwy. 62 E in Mountain Home, AR at 6:00 p.m. Please pass the word. If you need any more info, call Robin at 421 1255.

Meeting on Tuesday, July 19

2010-07-18T13:07:00.000-07:00

There will be a meeting and the food pantry and resource room will be open too. The meeting starts at 6 pm. If you cannot make it call Leon and he will meet you another time to help you with the food items.

Hairdresser on Thursday

2010-07-13T07:05:00.000-07:00

There will be a hairdresser at the FF home cutting hair on Thursday from 1 until 3. Feel free to drop by!

2010-07-05T14:41:00.002-07:00

Biker Festival

2010-07-05T14:41:00.000-07:00

2010-07-05T14:39:00.001-07:00

School Supplies

2010-06-12T09:21:00.000-07:00

We have a church group wanting to support us with school supplies this year!! If your family would like to receive school supplies, I need to know how many k-3rh, 4-6th, and 7-12th you have. I will have a sign up sheet at the meeting this Tue June 15th but if you aren't attending the meeting you will need to contact me no later than Tue. Thanks, Amanda goofballgeorgie@hotmail.com 404-8803
This is an awesome blessing and we thank Holy Cross Lutheran for supporting our local children!!

Dave Pittman is performing at our Fundraiser!

2010-06-10T16:12:00.000-07:00

The American Idol, Dave Pittman,
is performing at our Biker Fest Fundraiser!
How awesome is that! Come and enjoy the food, fun, and music!

Meeting on Tuesday, June 16

2010-06-09T07:43:00.000-07:00

The meeting will be held at the new house. We will have food and commodities that night.

More info on Biker Fest '10

2010-06-08T05:59:00.000-07:00

Our Biker Fest will be held at the Cotter Big Spring Park in Cotter, AR. Saturday, June 26, 2010 from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m.
There will be a 50/50 draw, silent auction, craft sale, bake sale, popcorn, snow cones, music, free giveaways and great food!
If you are able to donate or help in anyway, that would be great!
If not, that fine, just come on down for a fun afternoon and don"t forget your swimsuit (since the Fest is by Cotter Springs!)!

The Parade

2010-06-06T16:52:00.000-07:00

Biker Fest-need volunteers

2010-06-02T20:06:00.000-07:00

We are having a BIG fundraiser on Saturday, June 26 .It will be held at Cotter Springs park. Vicki G. has worked VERY hard (my emphasis). We need volunteers in many areas on the day of the event. If you know of a business that may like to donate an item/service/gift certificate that would be wonderful. Tickets will be sold for a drawing for the items. This could be a great fundraiser for our group. We are always in need of funds to help our families. If you want to volunteer or have an item you would like to donate for the drawings please call me, Robin at 421 1255 or contact Vicki G.

Another fundraiser

2010-05-23T07:30:00.000-07:00

FF was asked to participate in the Walmart Corporate Picnic this past Friday in Springdale. Brave adults, Leon and Amanda, took 14 kids (and one grandbaby) to help man the event. They prepared and served over 5000 people. The handed out over 4000 funnel cakes, 4000 snocones,4000 handmade lemonades, corn dogs, and popcorn.
The owners of Flossie Funnel Cakes, who were contracted by Walmart for this event, said that our youth were the best and couldn't have found any better help. They will be using our group again.
Thanks to them we received a $1000.00 donation for our group, a free meal ; ), and a $100.00 for our fuel cost.
PS Amanda was not slowed down a bit by the fact that she had her grandbaby in a front carrier.

Garage Sale results

2010-05-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

FF had a 2 weekend garage sale. We were trying to pare down in anticipation for our big move. Thanks for the hard work, ladies, men and kids! Tracy reported that FF netted 278.00 dollars for the group.

Meeting tonight

2010-05-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

There will be a meeting tonight at 6. It will be held at the new Forever Families house located at 3880 Hwy. 62. It is between Camps Nursery and a car dealership place. The charter bus service depot is across the street from the home. At this time it is not kid friendly. We are still under construction : )

2010-05-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

2010-05-16T17:20:00.001-07:00

2010-05-16T17:19:00.001-07:00

Help Needed

2010-05-04T14:12:00.000-07:00

Forever Families has a new home!
It is a large ranch style house located next to Camps Nursery on Hwy 62. Our goal is to move in by June 1st. Even though everyone has put in thousands of volunteer hours cleaning, painting, yard work, and etc, we do have some items and labor we are in need of.

If you would like to donate any of this items or your time, please contact Leon Bardin at 870-321-1110. We are also accepting monetary donations to cover the cost of buying items we don’t receive by donation.

Needs:
Grout and Thin set (to adhere the ceramic tile to the floor),
Freezer,
Washer & Dryer
Riding Mower,
Weed Eater,
Counter time (for a very small kitchen),
Kitchen Faucet
2 New Toilets,
$100 to finish the fence

Labor Needed
*Mow and Weed Whack the yard,
*To remove peel and stick type tile, some parquet and carpeting.
*Help at our Garage Sale on May 21 & 22 and 28 & 29,
*Help with moving to our new location

.

Helpers

2010-05-03T20:29:00.001-07:00

This is some of the people who have helped us in the new Forever Families.

Working on the new FF place

2010-04-26T21:59:00.000-07:00

We work on the house whenever we find time. If you have any spare time please contact me at 421 1255 and someone will let you in to work. There is plenty to do. We need someone to come mow.

Grant writing

2010-04-26T21:56:00.000-07:00

I have contacted a couple of grant writers and hopefully, they will take over the grant writing for our group. Please pray about that. If you know of anyone who does grant writing, please let me know and I will beg, I mean, contact them.

Donation of paint and sheet rock work

2010-04-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

Meeks and Mr. Neff donated paint to our group. I think we will have plenty to fnish the house. We are working on painting the ceilings until Mr. Degroot gives us the go ahead to paint the walls. He came in and donated his time and talent and patched the holes and did some other type of wall "stuff." Thanks guys.

Work Day on Friday

2010-04-21T20:42:00.000-07:00

Starting around 9 o'clock and ending when we are too tired to move , we will be having a work day at the new FF home. We will be doing all sorts of things, from cleaning, to spray painting ceiling fans, to painting bathrooms, yard work if the weather is nice and the list goes on and on.
IMO, we really need to put the pedal to the medal and get into our new "home."

Bardin family and a shameless plug for Forever Families

2010-04-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

Fundraisers and grants

2010-04-15T04:57:00.000-07:00

Vikki G. is geting a bike run together. More details to follow.
FF got a thousand dollar grant that we are very excited about. We also put in for another grant this week. We will be participating in another fund raiser in Springddale next month. We need 12 older teens to help with this. Some of their duties will be selling funnel cakes. Details soon to be posted.

The new place

2010-04-15T04:50:00.000-07:00

The new house is slowly taking shape. They have washed the outside, knocked out a passage way, dug new lines and more.
We also have been having wall paper removing parties. Only 3 more walls to go and we will be ready for Mr. Degroot to come skim coat the walls. I will post a painting party invitation to any who would like to attend.

Work Day on Saturday

2010-03-31T10:55:00.000-07:00

We need workers at the new place on Saturday. Lights need to be taken done, wallpaper torn down, carpet ripped up, stuff outside, etc etc. It can be a fun time of work and fellowship. Call Leon 321-1110 if you need directions.

Haircut Day

2010-03-31T10:53:00.000-07:00

On Friday, starting around 10 a.m., we will be having haircutting done at Robin's house. Heather will be doing the hair cuts and the kids can play. Feel free to just drop by. Call me at 421 1255 for directions.

Work day tomorrow March 30

2010-03-29T09:35:00.000-07:00

We are having a work day at the resource room Tuesday from 3-6 pm. Everyone please come and pick up your March commodities and etc. We do have some health and beauty.
also, if you can, we are needing some more people to come and help pack the RR.

Today, Thursday

2010-03-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

Leon made a food bank run and picked up commodities. There is quite a bit of frozen food so we would appreciate it if you could make an effort to come pick up food today. If you can't, it will be there when you can make it : ) Leon's number is 321-1110. Have a great day!!!

Work Day Tomorrow

2010-03-24T12:19:00.001-07:00

There will be a work day Thursday, March 18 at the resource room and at the new building. The new building is located right next to Camps Nursery on Hwy. 62 (right across from the Mt. Home Bus Depot). It is a grey ranch style home with a big metal building out front. They will start working around 10 o'clock.
We would like to have responsible kids and teens along with some adults at the RR to help sort clothes (and start packing) and some at the new building to help clean up the inside.
Saturday, weather permitting, we would like to get a large crew of volunteers out to the new building to work outside. We are in need of people with mowers, rakes, hoes, weed wackers, and etc.
Please let your friends and church group know about these two work days. All kind of volunteers are needed.
For more info give Leon or Robin a call at (R) 421-1255, (L) 321-1110 or email them at
Robin4350@yahoo.com

God Bless,
Tracy Wiesboeck (870) 404-7941

Forever Families of Baxter County, Inc.
A Foster and Adoption Resource Outreach

Email:
http://us.mc1115.mail.yahoo.com/mc/compose?to=foreverfamiliesofbaxtercounty@yahoo.com
Newsletter:
http://foreverfamiliesofbaxtercounty.blogspot.com/

Food Bank Day Moved

2010-03-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

We won't be going to the food bank until March 25. The food pantry coordinator will be out of pocket on the original date. I am sorry for any inconvenience this will cause.

Comment section more user friendly

2010-02-24T21:34:00.001-08:00

I have enabled the comment section to be more user friendly. I hope this helps people to add more comments more easily.

Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley

2010-02-24T17:53:00.000-08:00

WELCOME TO HOLLAND
byEmily Perl Kingsley.
c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Foster care statistics for AR

2010-02-14T13:45:00.000-08:00

3957 children in foster care in Arkansas

Ages 0-5 1563
Ages 6-11 967
Ages 12-14 447
15-up 980

These statistics are current as of January 2010 as stated according to DHS.

Daytime Haircuts offered!

2010-02-10T18:40:00.000-08:00

We are now offering haircuts every 3rd Thursday of the month. Val will be at our Resouce Room from 1-3pm to give haircuts. Again, please sign up under comments. We dont want Val to come if no one needs a haircut!
Thanks!

Haircuts for Feb.

2010-02-10T18:35:00.000-08:00

If you would like a haircut at our meeting Tue Feb 16th, please sign up under comments. Only families who have signed up will be given haircuts. Thanks!

Fundraiser-starting in March

2010-02-08T20:32:00.001-08:00

Peggy has investigated a fundraising opportunity for our group. It will entail selling items at a new flea market in Mt. Home. She is asking all of us to be on the look out for items that we would like to donate to be sold at this flea market. She mentioned items such as knick knacks, furniture, baby goods, nice shoes, etc. No clothes please. It sounds like a good opportunity to help bring some income into our group.
If you have items you would like to donate, hang on to them until I get Peggy's contact info : )

Letter to a teacher by parents of a child with RAD

2010-01-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

I saw this on a foster parent website and thought it could be used by some who are parenting a RAD child.

If a parent has given you this to read, you are teaching a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder. The family of this child has apparently decided to share this information with you. That sharing is a big step for this family and one you have to treat gently and with the respect it deserves. This family has been through traumas you cannot even imagine. I will describe a few of them here below so that you get the "flavor" and perhaps even begin to understand why this child's parents sometimes seem so harsh or harried or even depressed. Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) is most common in foster and adopted children but can be found in many other so-called "normal" families as well due to divorce, illness or separations. RAD happens when a child is not properly nurtured in the first few months and years of life. The child, left to cry in hunger, pain or need for cuddling, learns that adults will not help him or her. The child whose parent(s) are more involved in getting their next drug fix than they are in nurturing the developing child learns that his or her needs are not primary to adults. Children born of drug or alcohol addicted parents learn even in the womb that things do not feel good and are not safe for them. In severe cases, where the child was an abuse or violence victim, the child learns adults are hurtful and cannot be trusted. The RAD child therefore develops habits of dealing with the world in a way she believes will keep her safe. He manipulates in order to control a world he literally thinks will kill him if he does not control it. Without therapy RAD kids never develop the attachments to another human being which teach them to trust, accept discipline, develop cause and effect thinking, self-control and responsibility for their own actions. RAD children are often involved in the Juvenile Justice System as they get older. Left untreated, such children can maim, kill and torture without conscience or feeling. They can start fires, kill pets and terrorize their families. It has been said that untreated RAD children grew up to be such persons as Ted Bundy, Charles Manson, Adolph Hitler, the teenagers who shot up Columbine High. They feel no remorse, have no conscience and see no relation between their actions and what happens as a result because they never connected with or relied upon another human being in trust their entire lives. They attempt to become their own parent with predictable results. What you will see as a teacher is a child who is, initially, surprisingly charming to you, even seeking to hold your hand, climbing into your lap, smiling a lot, you're delighted you are getting on so well with him/her. At the onset of your contact with the child who has been reported from prior grades as "impossible" you will wonder what those previous teachers did to provoke the behaviors you have not (yet) seen but which are reflected in the prior grade reports. A few months into what you thought was a working relationship the child is suddenly openly defiant, moody, angry and difficult to handle; there is no way to predict what will happen from day to the next; the child eats as if he hasn't been properly fed and is suspected of stealing other children's snacks or lunch items; the child does not seem to make or keep friends; the child seems able to play one-on-one for short periods, but cannot really function well in groups; the child is often a bully on the playground; although RAD kids typically have above average intelligence they often do not perform well in school due to lack of problem solving and analytical thinking skills; they often test poorly – often deliberately. RAD kids will climb into your lap and pretend to be affection starved. RAD kids often talk out loud in class rooms, do not contribute fairly to group work or conversely argue to dominate and control the group. Organizational abilities are limited and monitoring is resented. There may be a sense of hypervigilance about them that you initially perceive as no sense of personal space and general "nosiness". They seem to want to know everyone else's business but never tell you anything about their own. There is no sense of conscience for their actions, even if someone else is hurt. They may express an offhand or even seemingly sincere "sorry", but will likely do the same thing again tomorrow. These kids thrive on having made you lose it. They are not motivated by self or parental pride, normal reward and punishment systems simply do not work; kindness, sympathy or concern only exacerbate their poor behaviors – you are simply a sucker to be exploited. They will deliberately omit parts of assignments even when writing their names just so that they are in control of the assignment, not you. When assigned a seat they will choose an indirect, self- selected path to reach the seat. When given a certain number of things to repeat or do, they often do more, or less than directed. They destroy toys, clothing, bedding, pillows, and family memorabilia then feign complete innocence even when the shredded materials are lying at their feet. They will blame parents or siblings or others for missing or incomplete homework, missing items of clothing, lost lunch bags, etc. RAD kids sometimes feign fear of parents when in a public place simply for the reactions it elicits from other adults. They are masters at triangulating parents and teachers with any number of half or completely false stories. They destroy school bags, lose supplies, steal food, sneak sweets, break zippers on coats, tear clothing, and eat so as to disgust those around them (open mouth chewing, food smeared over face). They often inflict self injuries, pick at scabs until they bleed, seek attention for non-existent/miniscule injuries, yet will seek to avoid adults when they have real injuries or genuine pain. RAD kids will have multiple falls and accidents and frequently complain about what other children have done to them ("he started it!", "Suzi kicked me first"). RAD kids can walk around in significant physical pain from real injuries and will minimize the injury until it is detected, at which point they may be able to exploit the delay occasioned by their own failure to complain appropriately. They will not wipe a running nose or cover a mouth to sneeze or conversely will overreact or exaggerate a cough or mild illness. They accept no responsibility for their actions and do not have any sense of why everyone can get so aggravated with them. They often have scrapes, bumps, bruises and will claim abuse by an adult in order to obtain attention and seem to be "accident prone". They are in a constant battle for control of their environment and seek that control however they can, even in totally meaningless situations. If they are in control they feel safe. If they are loved and protected by an adult they are convinced they are going to die because they never learned to trust adults, adult judgment or to develop any of what you know as normal feelings of acceptance, safety and warmth. These children often slur words just to make you ask them to repeat themselves or speak more clearly. Their speech patterns are often unusual and may involve talking out of turn, talking constantly, talking nonsense, humming, singsong, asking unanswerable or obvious questions ("Do I get a drink any time today?"). They have one pace – theirs. No amount of "hurry up everyone is waiting on you" will work – they must be in control and you have just told them they are. Need the child to finish lunch so everyone can go to the playground – he will eat five times slower than usual. Need the child to dress and line up, he will scatter papers, drop clothing, fail to locate gloves, wander around the room – anything to slow the process and control it further. Five minutes later he may be kissing your hand or stroking your cheek for you with absolutely no sense of having caused the mayhem that ensues from his actions. You can begin to understand what this child's parents must face on a daily basis. The parents are often tense, involved in control battles for their parental role every minute they are with the child, they adopted the child thinking love would cure anything that had happened to her before the adoption. They have only recently learned that normal parenting will not work with this child; that much of what they have tried to do for years simply fed into the child's dysfunction. They are frightened, sad, stressed and lonely. Many feel unmerited guilt for their perceived "failure" with this child. The mothers often bear the brunt of the child's actions and the child is often clever enough to make certain none of it occurs in front of the father. Hence they even triangulate the parents – because it puts them in control of the situation, which makes them feel safer. It takes a tremendous amount of work and therapy to turn these kids around so that they can experience real feelings and learn to trust. Parents who have embarked on this healing journey for their child need support and consistency from other adults who interact with the child. This diagnosis is a relatively new one in the Pennsylvania mental health community despite widespread acceptance for years in other states. What can you do as a teacher? CALL THE PARENTS. They will likely not be real warm about this child and can be perceived as too harsh until you get to know them better. Have them in to talk with you about this issue. They are often hostile to outside commentary because no one without RAD information really knows what these folks are living with every day. Call them and talk about what you see in the classroom and ask if they have any other strategies for managing things. Parents who are in counseling and therapy with this child will eventually open up to you and you'll all be able to help the child get healthy or at least not contribute to his dysfunction. Remember the child's primary objective is to triangulate you from the parents so that he controls the relationships on his terms, not yours. He may also seek to triangulate you from other supervisory or authority figures at the school. Parents will tell you if time is precious on a particular occasion due to ongoing therapy, or whatever, don't feel put off or shut out. They will talk to you when they have time and time is one of the things RAD parents often run out of as they work desperately to save their child's future. The therapy and home parenting techniques are exhausting and time consumptive. Try to respect that if it seems they are not focusing on your goal of home or class work. Do not trust schoolbag communication or expect things sent in a "communication envelope" to be as complete as when they left the school with the child. Many parents develop alternative communication methods once they realize why they feel so out of it where the school is concerned – they are out of it because that is how the child wants it and the child will hide or destroy notes, information sheets, partially reduce the contents of communication envelopes so that it looks like you simply have an unresponsive parent on your hands. Use the phone and regular mail – it works. Don't feel you need to apologize if you have believed this child and blamed the parents. If they have given you this information they already trust you and do not blame you for not having the information you needed – likely they only just recently got it themselves. Make it perfectly clear in your interactions with the child that YOU ARE THE BOSS of the classroom or activity. Remind the child, unemotionally but firmly, that you are the boss, you make the rules. You can even smile when you say it if you can get the "smile all the way up to the eyes", just remember to get the child to verbally acknowledge your position – "yes, ma'am, you are the boss". Do it every day for a while, then use periodic reminders. Insist upon use of titles or prefixes (Miss Jane, Teacher Sarah, Ms. Philips), they establish position and rank. Structure choices so that you remain in control ("do you want to wear your coat or carry it to the playground?", "you may complete that paper sitting or standing", "you may complete that assignment during this period or during recess"). Remember to keep the anger and frustration the child is seeking out of your voice. Try to "smile all the way to your eyes" if you can, otherwise simply stay as neutral as you can. Structure and control without threat. YOU ARE NOT THE PRIMARY CAREGIVER for this child. You cannot parent this child. You are his teacher, not his therapist, not his parents. Remind the child that her parents are where she can get hugs, cuddles, food and treats. You will only have responsibility for this child for one school year at the most – understand that this child will consider moving into the next grade as your having abandoned him. The only way to avoid that is to remain in your teacher role and support the process of helping this child learn to be a whole human being as best you can in the time you have. Teachers are left behind each year, its normal. These children need to learn that lesson. Establish EYE CONTACT with this child, insist upon it as often as the opportunity presents itself. Do not be deceived by the child's focusing on your forehead or chin. RAD kids do not like eye contact and will do just about anything to avoid it unless they are lying or trying to manipulate you, at which point you will be hard put to avoid a staring contest. Be firm, be consistent, be specific. Try to remember to ACKNOWLEDGE GOOD DECISIONS AND GOOD BEHAVIOR ("I see you made a good choice and finished your homework last night", "I see you decided to sit out the game rather than get into a fight with Sally, that's a good choice".) CONSEQUENCE POOR DECISIONS AND BAD BEHAVIOR. Poor decisions and choices like incomplete homework, wrong weight jacket for the weather, also need to be acknowledged ("I see you chose to have incomplete work from this activity period. You may finish it at recess while the other children who chose to finish their work go outside and play. Better luck next time.") Nothing mean or angry or spiteful – it's just the facts. Remember they have difficulty with cause and effect thinking and have to be taught consequences. Normal reward systems like treats and stickers simply do not work with these children – you will continue to see Jekyll and Hyde from day-to-day with absolutely no correlation to standard reward systems. Standard behavior modification techniques do not work with this child – she doesn't think the way nurtured children think. Her entire being is centered on being in control so she can be safe. If anyone else is in control she is anxious and certain she is going to die – no kidding, it's that serious. Consequencing is a good teaching technique for adults involved with RAD kids – there is a consequence associated with each good behavior, each poor behavior – teach them what those consequences are – they will not think of or recognize them without your direction. BE CONSISTENT, BE SPECIFIC. The RAD child will be "good" for you one or two days or even weeks just to watch your incredulity at his or her misbehavior the next time. No general compliments like "you're a good boy!" or "You know better". Be specific and consistent – confront each misbehavior and support each good behavior with direct language. "You scribbled on the desk – you clean it up", "You hit Timmy, you sit here next to me until I decide you may play again without hitting." "You did well on the playground today, good for you!" "You chose to complete that assignment, that's a good choice!" Be positive when you can. DO NOT ACCEPT POOR MANNERS OR INCOHERENT SPEECH. The child must say "May I please be excused to use the restroom?" Not "I gotta pee". And yes, they will wet themselves rather than ask appropriately just to upset you and make you think you're responsible for making them stand there too long. "I see that you wet yourself. That must not feel very good." And go back to whatever you were doing. His embarrassment (maybe) or even just the discomfort is a NATURAL CONSEQUENCE of his choice to wet himself rather than ask for excuse to the restroom properly. Feel free to not respond to slurred or incoherent speech. The child will learn she cannot manipulate you into asking for a repetition or clarification. If you feel you must, tell the child you will not be able to hear him until he makes the choice to speak clearly and then turn your attention elsewhere. The child should say, "Yes, Miss Janice", "No, Mr. Sayers". "Yeah" and "nope" and "I don't know" are no longer part of the child in therapy's vocabulary – do not tolerate them in your classroom, they are disrespectful. This NATURAL CONSEQUENCES thing is important. Do not permit this child to control your behavior by threatening to throw a tantrum (let him, out in the hallway or in another room -"You can have your tantrum here if you choose to"), wetting her pants (let her, then make her clean up any puddles or stains, "I see you've wet the rug, here is a rag and bucket to clean it up"), or puttering around doing his own thing when it delays the class' departure for a planned activity ("I see you've chosen to fool around rather than get ready to go, you can wait here in the supervisor's office until we get back"). Time-outs do not work for these children – they want to isolate themselves from others. Bring the child near the activity he has had to be removed from and have them stand with or sit in a chair along side you. It's called a "TIME-IN". If you can take the time, speak quietly about how much fun the other children are having and how sad it is that she cannot join in right now. No raised voices, no anger. Don't lose your temper if you can avoid it, remember he is manipulating you to do just that. If you are going to lose it, seek assistance from another adult until you are back in control of yourself. DO NOT SYMPATHIZE with this child. Feeling sorry for her will only give her power over you, usurp your role as teacher and prevent you from being effective in your role. Remain consistent in your expectations, do not lower them for this child. The RAD child has even more to learn than "normal" kids. SUPPORT THE PARENTS. The child who is losing control at home and in the classroom because folks are "on to him" will get a whole lot worse before he gets better. Listen appropriately. Absolutely redirect this child to her parents for choices, hugs, decision-making and sharing of information you believe is either not true or is designed to shock or manipulate you. Follow up with the parents. REMAIN CALM AND IN CONTROL OF YOURSELF. No matter what she does today. If she manages to upset you, she is in control, not you. Remove yourself or the child from the situation until you are able to cope. AVOID BEING ALONE WITH THIS CHILD. They learn, shockingly early in life for some of them, that such situations can be manipulated into abuse claims for which there is no "witness". If your classroom is out of control because of this child, get help. Many school counselors and administrators have not had exposure to the RAD diagnosis or how to handle it in schools. There are many resources available. Don't give up. These children are inventive, manipulative and very much in need of everything you can offer to help them get healthy. Remind the child you will be speaking with her parents on a regular basis. Report to the child's home as often as you can without feeling burdened by the effort. Expect notes to be destroyed. Use the phone. If you do not get a response to written communication and the parents seem to be out of touch with general information, do not blame them. Chances are they never got the message, never saw the right number of papers and have no clue what is going on because that is just how the child likes it. It takes control from the parent. Give it back by communicating directly whenever possible. This child can and will be helped to get healthy and you can be a part of that process with the right tools. Keep in touch with the family. Remember that what you see in school is only the tip of the iceberg – family life is terribly threatening to these children and what the parents have to deal with every day is nearly unimaginable to other uninformed adults. Blaming the family or failing to communicate with them adds to the dysfunction and puts the child at greater risk of never getting healthy. This child is learning in therapy to be respectful, responsible and fun to be around. It will take time, it will be an effort, if in the end it is successful it will be because the adults in her life were consistent and the child decided to work in therapy. Your contribution as his teacher cannot be underestimated or undervalued – his parents will be grateful for the support and the therapist will have fewer inconsistent venues to sort out while helping the child to heal. Used with permission from the author. **Captive in the Classroom - This three hour video set by Nancy Thomas, presents powerful techniques for teaching and surviving disruptive, defiant, and Reactive Attachment disorder students. Clear concise tools to identify emotionally disturbed children and youth who have the potential for violence are included. Effective classroom interventions for emotionally disturbed students are clearly explained. Many parents have purchased this tape to share with their children’s teachers to save their sanity while making them a vital part of the healing team.

Forever Families

2010-01-18T17:50:00.000-08:00

We would love to bring awareness to our group, Forever Families, and we need more help.
Bring out your creativity, get your kids involved, use your imagination and spread the word!
Create the words "Forever Families" in any way, shape or form. Take a quick pic and send it to me mailto:Robin4350@yahoo.com and I will put it with the rest of the pictures.
We have had a couple sent from as far away as Dubai and as close as Cotter : )

Hair cuts for Jan.

2010-01-12T11:39:00.000-08:00

Please sign up for haircuts under comments. Only the families that are signed up will receive haircuts at this Tuesday meeting.

A donation to our group

2010-01-10T12:27:00.000-08:00

Thank you to the Campbells for donating this camper to Forever Families. This camper will be greatly appreciated by all of our families. One family commuted for 5 months to Little Rock Childrens Hospital. With a camper like this, a family can park it at Childrens and stay comfortably.

Students helping Forever Families

2010-01-10T12:21:00.000-08:00

Thank you to the students, Mrs. Lee and Mrs. Skrapates for helping out at our resource room. With your help, we really got organized.

2010-01-10T12:15:00.000-08:00

Thank you

2010-01-10T08:37:00.000-08:00

I would like to say thank you to Sharron for organizing and working at the Christmas present wrapping fundraiser at Hastings. Thanks to all of the volunteers who helped.
I also would like to thank the alternative school students and teachers, Mrs. Skrapates and Mrs. Lee, who helped organize our resource room.
I would like to say thank you to Memorial Christian Church for the donation of all of the underwear and socks given to FF. I know our family benefited from those new "panties" and socks.
I would also like to thank the Campbells for donating the camper. It is greatly appreciated!
I would like to thank Randy and his wife who have so graciously allowed Forever Families to move in our resource room to their church.
I know there are so so many others who have given to our group. I may not know your names but God does. May He bless you as mightily as you have blessed us.

News & Updates

2010-01-05T10:15:00.000-08:00

**The Resource Room will be closed today, Jan 5th.
It will be open this Thursday, Jan 7th, from 1-4pm. We really could use some volunteers from each family to come and help with the large donations we have received. Let me know if you are able to come or if you are unable to come at this time, plz let me know when you can.

**Amanda Reeves is in need of some Prosobee formula. If you have any, plz give her a call at 404 8803. Thank you everyone!

**We will start receiving commodities this month. I am looking for a bible study class, boy scouts, any group that could volunteer their time to help unload the commodities, shelf the items and them bag them for our members. This is done once a month and a group can volunteer once a year or as many times as they want. ***this is not including our regular Monthly Support food** So please pass the word on. Thank you

***Our needs list has been updated***

Gift Wrapping Items needed

2009-12-31T09:24:00.000-08:00

Our Hastings gift wrapping fundraiser was a huge success thanks to all the volunteers, Peggy, Sharron, and everyone else who came and helped out.
Now that Christmas is over, wrapping paper is on sale. we are asking everyone to buy wrapping paper, bows, and tape to donate to FF for next years fundraiser.
**Thank you for helping and you may bring them to the resource room during open hours or at our meetings.

Volunteer Fair

2009-12-27T11:15:00.000-08:00

This years Volunteer Fair will be held at the Baxter County Library Saturday Jan 16, 2010 at 10 -2pm.
We (and other area organizations) will set up tabletop displays and have the opportunity to speak with potential volunteers. This is a wonderful way of letting people know about Forever Families and sign up new volunteers for our group. We would like for 2 more people to volunteer to work our table. Would anyone like to help design our tabletop display? Please or e-mail if you have any questions. Thanks!

Charles Schultz Philosophy

2009-12-17T17:58:00.000-08:00

The following is the philosophy of Charles Schultz, the creator of the 'Peanuts' comic strip. You don't have to actually answer the questions. Just read the e-mail straight through, and you'll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.

2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.

3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America.

4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.

5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.

6. Name the last decade's worth of World Series winners. How did you do?

The point is, none of us remember the headliners of yesterday. These are no second-rate achievers. They are the best in their fields. But the applause dies. Awards tarnish. Achievements are forgotten. Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners . Here's another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.

2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.

3. Name five people who have taught you something worthwhile.

4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special.

5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with . Easier?

The lesson: The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials, the most money, or the most awards. They are the ones that care. Just a reminder that you are making a difference in the life of a child.

Work day this Sunday

2009-12-08T17:13:00.000-08:00

We are having a Forever Families work day this Sunday, Dec 13th at one of our member's home. They are building a home so they can meet the square foot requirements for adopting another child. We will be putting up siding. Please ask your family and friends to come and help. Please call Amanda for directions and more info at 404-8803 Thanks!

Hair cuts for Dec.

2009-12-06T17:51:00.000-08:00

Please sign up if you would like your hair cut at our Dec. 15th meeting. Thanks

Resource Room Hours

2009-11-18T10:20:00.000-08:00

Starting in December our Resource Room will be open regular hours.
They are as follows:

Tuesday & Thursday 1-4 pm
3rd Tuesday 4:30- 6 pm
(Before our meeting)

We are in need of volunteers to work once a month in the Resource Room any of the hours listed above.

Gift Wrapping Fund Raiser

2009-11-18T06:49:00.000-08:00

We will be doing a Gift Wrapping Fund Raiser at Hasting starting after Thanksgiving. Thanks to Sharron Shutti, this has been a fun and profitable fundraiser. We set up a table in the entrance way of Hasting and we offer to wrap any gift for a donation. Sharron has graciously provided all the supplies. We need 2 people signed up for each time slot. It could consist of an adult and a teen.
Please e-mail me or sign up under comments.

Sat Dec. 12 12- 4pm Devri, Aliana, Aubri Thompson
Sat Dec. 19 12- 4pm Debbie Wiggins & teen
Mon. Dec. 21 2- 6pm
Tue. Dec. 22 2- 6pm Tracy & Anna Wiesboeck
Wed. Dec. 23 12- 6pm
Thur. Dec. 24 12- 6pm

Christmas Party

2009-11-15T08:43:00.000-08:00

Forever Familes Christmas Party

Saturday, Dec. 5th from 2-3:30

St. Peter's Parish Life Center

249 Dyer, Mtn Home

Please park behind the church

Parents please stay with your children.

Come joins us for Cookies, Crafts, and Carols!

Please RSVP 425-3910 or 425-3823

Salvation Army Holiday Sign up

2009-11-03T06:26:00.000-08:00

Salvation Army in Mountain Home is having their Thanksgiving & Christmas sign up this week (Nov 2nd - 6th) and next week (Nov 9th - 13th) from 9-12. You must have ID for all adults in the home, ss cards for everyone, proof of income and expences. It is well worth the effort.

Sign up for Nov. Hair cuts

2009-10-26T15:32:00.000-07:00

We will be having free hair cuts at our Nov. meeting so please sign up under comments!

Christmas Parade

2009-10-26T15:07:00.000-07:00

Forever Families is going to be in the Christmas Parade in Mtn. Home on December 4th. Mark your calendar and more info to come.

Good Samaritan Society's 30th Anniversary Celebration

2009-10-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

FREE to the community 11-1 free brats, hot dogs and trimmings, live music, speaker...1-3 pm tours of the facility.
October 29, 2009 11 am - 3 pm

We're finally in Baxter Bulletin

2009-09-28T09:07:00.000-07:00

Help for foster and adoptive parents
Forever Families is a local outreach program with resources and support groups designed to help foster and adoptive families, and grandparents raising extended families.

Thanks Vickey and Franklin! To see the article go to baxterbulletin.com

Membership

2009-09-20T14:02:00.000-07:00

Here is a reminder of the requirements of becoming a Forever Families member.

3) You must be an adoptive or foster family. This includes
kinship and anyone raising someone else’s child.
4) Dues are $24 a year
5) Volunteer on a committees or at least 4 hrs every quarter.

There are a wide range of volunteer positions available. It is vital that every member participates to keep all of our programs running smoothly. There are volunteer opportunities that you can do from home to volunteering for a fundraiser once a quarter.
If you have not signed up for a volunteer position, you may still come to the meetings and enjoy the support group BUT you will not be able to participate in any of the programs such as:

1) Month Support Items
2) Hair cut Program
3) Birthday Program
4) Quarterly Program (Christmas presents, School supplies, etc)
5) Helping Hands Program
6) Resource Room

This will take affect at our SEPTEMBER 24th meeting.
So if you have not had a chance to sign up, you may just e-mail me and I will send you a volunteer position list for you to pick from before our next meeting.

Adoption Picnic

2009-09-20T13:49:00.000-07:00

We are planning on having a booth at the ADOPTION PICNIC on OCTOBER 3, 2009 from 11:00 am - 3:30 pm. It will be held at FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH, 1400 South Pine Street, Harrison, Ar
We would like to have a least one more adult to be come so we may have time to talk to any families interested in FF. We also would like a couple of teen to help run our game and hand out prizes to the kids. There is free lunch and we can car pool is needed. Please call or email me by this Thursday the 24th if you would like to volunteer. If we don’t have enough volunteers by this Thursday I will call all the members who have not signed up for a volunteer position at our last meeting.

Homemade Laundry Soap

2009-06-22T11:30:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:
4 cups hot tap water
1 Fels-Naptha soap bar
1 cup washing soda
½ cup Borax

Grate bar of soap and add to saucepan with water. Stir continually over medium-low heat until soap dissolves and is melted.

Fill a five-gallon bucket half full of hot tap water. Add melted soap,
washing soda and Borax. Stir well until all powder is dissolved. Fill
bucket to top with more hot water. Stir, cover and let sit overnight to
thicken.

Optional: You can add 10-15 drops of essential oil per two gallons. Add
once soap has cooled. Ideas: lavender, rosemary, tea tree oil.
Top-load machine: 5/8 cup per load (approximately 180 loads). Front-load machine: ¼ cup per load
(approx. 640 loads).
Harps has the washing soda in the laundry section.
Wal-Mart has the fels-naptha bar soap in the laundry section along with the borax.
someone said you could use ivory soap instead of the fels soap.
It costs me about $20 a year for laundry detergent.
Thanks Heather!

MEMBERSHIP FORMS

2009-04-05T15:33:00.000-07:00

Could everyone who hasn't filled out a membership form PLEASE do so. You can do it right on line at http://foreverfamiliesofbaxtercounty.tripod.com/id6.html. If you can't get this link to come up, you can go to our website under registration. Thanks